Standing In Line PoliSci 101

So I saw The Dark Knight Rises the other day at The Alamo Drafthouse. Which, by the way, was awesome if you overlook the overly pretentious  film making and a little sub par story telling, which I did. And while in line I got to witness something that was entertaining for the first ten minutes, which then turned into a 20 minute endurance trial of  “How stabby can I get before committing a felony?”

People watching is a pass time I usually enjoy, but it is best in small controlled doses. This time I was held captive. The three gentlemen (all in their early to mid 40’s) behind me were having the most horribly innane political conversation I have heard in years. Anyone who had a friend in college who was in their freshman year, had just completed their first week of Political Science class and had a bong in their hand has heard this exact conversation. It is almost like they follow a script. Here are some of the topics and gems of wisdom that came along with it.

The right to bear arms – “You know, the right to privacy is actually nowhere in the constitution. It is just interpreted that way. But the right to bear arms is there. I have the right to defend myself. I can own a gun. They can’t stop that shit.” This nugget of pseudo-intellectualism was especially irritating seeing as the shooting in Aurora was less than 24 hours prior, and we were in line to see the same movie.

Marijuanna – “You know, George Washington grew hemp, and the constitution was written on it. Crime would go down… um… a lot if they legalized it.” Honestly, what would potheads have to talk about if that happened? Even when you are high, you can only do the Dark Side Of The Moon/Wizard of Oz thing so many times.

Other greatest hits included…

Misuse of the term “Fascism”

A vague understanding of the separation of church and state.

The classic “They said all men are created equal, but owned slaves”

And the ever popular “This is how the Nazis came to power.”

Just a word of advice. If you are eager to show everyone how politically aware you are, and all of this sounds like you, you may want to reconsider. Tossing this stuff around to show how politically savvy and smart you are is like listening to Billboards greatest hits of 1986 and calling yourself a music aficionado. You aren’t fooling anyone.  Exceptions to this rule are if you currently fall into any of the following categories: drunk at Denny’s at 3 am, 16 years old and are talking to other 16 year olds or are taking a hit at Bonnaroo/Burning Man.  Trust me on this and save yourself a bit of easily avoidable embarrassment.

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One thought on “Standing In Line PoliSci 101

  1. I did the Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz thing, drinking, not high – and as an adult, not a college freshman. It was still shockingly uncanny and we and our friends enjoyed it more than we thought we would.

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